My First OA Dream
from October 2015
There is a woman named A (not my sponsor Sister A, but a different A) in program who was at the very first meeting I went to. She is beautiful and pulled together and seems calm, though there was a lot of trauma in her family of origin and she is cross-addicted to both food and alcohol. She wears beautiful clothes and has flawless makeup, but she's incredibly real and honest. But if you saw her out in the world, you'd never guess she spends four to five hours a week in 12 step meetings.
At my first OA meeting, which was terrifying and intimidating, there were only five other people there and she was one of them. She happened to be the leader for that meeting, so I thought she was in charge in some way (before realizing there is no formal power structure in OA). The meeting was her, my soon-to-be sponsor, another relative newcomer, and two other women.
I cried the whole meeting and didn't make eye contact with anyone--when it was my turn to read and share, she said gently that I could pass, which I gratefully did. After the meeting was over, my soon-to-be sponsor, Sister A made a beeline and gave me a big hug and said "keep coming back."
This other A was more reserved but friendly and warm. She said, "we're so glad you're here," and she gave me a newcomer packet with the names and numbers of the others in the meeting, including her own contact information.
She texted me the following Monday and said, "Hey S, it's A from OA. It was really brave of you to go to the meeting on Friday. I'm going to one this morning at 11:30 --maybe I'll see you there."
First of all, I was so grateful she didn't CALL me but texted instead. The LAST thing I wanted to do was TALK to anyone about this huge, gaping shame of mine. Second, it was such a low pressure sell. So I went to that Monday meeting and have been to three to five meetings a week ever since.
So now onto my dream.
About a month into sugar abstinence, I dreamed that I went to an open house, hoping for a new home that was better suited to our family.
A from OA opened the door--the realtor hadn't shown up, so she was showing the house herself (interesting because another OA member I had gotten to know early on is a realtor who was amazingly warm and welcoming to me but worked a program that seemed intimidatingly strict to me at that point in my OA progress. Now we are friends, and I rely on her a lot for listening to 10th steps).
A started to show us the house, and it was incredible. Gorgeous, beautifully appointed, and huge, and the further we explored, we saw that there were play areas for the kids (kids went from room to room via huge slide, and the kid wing of the house was designed like a tree house). We climbed a gorgeous spiral staircase that emptied into, a huge, enclosed, rooftop entertaining areas with ocean views, filled with happy, chattering adults in small conversations.
Meanwhile, A was a bit distracted by the hustle and bustle of showing the house to prospective buyers while hosting a party, but she was warm and welcoming. In the dream, I said, "but this house is much too expensive for us! It must be $600k or $700k (that's dream real estate, I guess, in real life the house would have been many millions)!
A said, "oh, don't worry about the price. You can live here too. There's room for all of us here."
I argued again about the money and said we shouldn't even have come to the open house for a home we clearly couldn't afford, and she just calmly reassured me that I didn't need to worry about the money, that if I wanted the house, it would all work out.
I said, "why would you ever move out? This place is so wonderful!"
A demurred, and it became apparent to me that she wasn't necessarily moving out, but that the house could belong to anyone and everyone all at once.
Aren't dreams fantastic? It feels pretty obvious to me that the house represented OA, my new home, and an offering of peace and tranquility that could be mine if I stop worrying about the cost. Trippy, right?
There is a woman named A (not my sponsor Sister A, but a different A) in program who was at the very first meeting I went to. She is beautiful and pulled together and seems calm, though there was a lot of trauma in her family of origin and she is cross-addicted to both food and alcohol. She wears beautiful clothes and has flawless makeup, but she's incredibly real and honest. But if you saw her out in the world, you'd never guess she spends four to five hours a week in 12 step meetings.
At my first OA meeting, which was terrifying and intimidating, there were only five other people there and she was one of them. She happened to be the leader for that meeting, so I thought she was in charge in some way (before realizing there is no formal power structure in OA). The meeting was her, my soon-to-be sponsor, another relative newcomer, and two other women.
I cried the whole meeting and didn't make eye contact with anyone--when it was my turn to read and share, she said gently that I could pass, which I gratefully did. After the meeting was over, my soon-to-be sponsor, Sister A made a beeline and gave me a big hug and said "keep coming back."
This other A was more reserved but friendly and warm. She said, "we're so glad you're here," and she gave me a newcomer packet with the names and numbers of the others in the meeting, including her own contact information.
She texted me the following Monday and said, "Hey S, it's A from OA. It was really brave of you to go to the meeting on Friday. I'm going to one this morning at 11:30 --maybe I'll see you there."
First of all, I was so grateful she didn't CALL me but texted instead. The LAST thing I wanted to do was TALK to anyone about this huge, gaping shame of mine. Second, it was such a low pressure sell. So I went to that Monday meeting and have been to three to five meetings a week ever since.
So now onto my dream.
About a month into sugar abstinence, I dreamed that I went to an open house, hoping for a new home that was better suited to our family.
A from OA opened the door--the realtor hadn't shown up, so she was showing the house herself (interesting because another OA member I had gotten to know early on is a realtor who was amazingly warm and welcoming to me but worked a program that seemed intimidatingly strict to me at that point in my OA progress. Now we are friends, and I rely on her a lot for listening to 10th steps).
A started to show us the house, and it was incredible. Gorgeous, beautifully appointed, and huge, and the further we explored, we saw that there were play areas for the kids (kids went from room to room via huge slide, and the kid wing of the house was designed like a tree house). We climbed a gorgeous spiral staircase that emptied into, a huge, enclosed, rooftop entertaining areas with ocean views, filled with happy, chattering adults in small conversations.
Meanwhile, A was a bit distracted by the hustle and bustle of showing the house to prospective buyers while hosting a party, but she was warm and welcoming. In the dream, I said, "but this house is much too expensive for us! It must be $600k or $700k (that's dream real estate, I guess, in real life the house would have been many millions)!
A said, "oh, don't worry about the price. You can live here too. There's room for all of us here."
I argued again about the money and said we shouldn't even have come to the open house for a home we clearly couldn't afford, and she just calmly reassured me that I didn't need to worry about the money, that if I wanted the house, it would all work out.
I said, "why would you ever move out? This place is so wonderful!"
A demurred, and it became apparent to me that she wasn't necessarily moving out, but that the house could belong to anyone and everyone all at once.
Aren't dreams fantastic? It feels pretty obvious to me that the house represented OA, my new home, and an offering of peace and tranquility that could be mine if I stop worrying about the cost. Trippy, right?
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